


It Was Only A Kiss

by Webtrinsic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Ahsoka Tano-centric, Anger, BAMF Anakin Skywalker, Brother-Sister Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt Ahsoka Tano, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecurity, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Anakin Skywalker, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Webtrinsic/pseuds/Webtrinsic
Summary: Ahsoka knows why Lux kissed her but it doesn't mean he should have. And if it had truly been alright, she wouldn't feel the way she did now. Thankfully, she has a pretty spectacular support system, and an even greater master to help her feel better.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Lux Bonteri/Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 27
Kudos: 118





	It Was Only A Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> still hate lux, still hate how he endangered and kissed our poor girl. but big brother anakin won't let that crap stand

There’s a list of things she could be angry about. A lot had happened that she could rightfully be upset about: her sabers being hidden, the murder and destruction of a village, nearly being beheaded by the black blade of champions.

Monumental things, that should far exceed the kiss she shared with Lux; yet it was a simple press of the lips that was driving her mad. She hadn’t wanted to kiss him, not then after he’d kidnapped her, knocked her unconscious, and stolen her sabers. 

Ahsoka had felt vulnerable enough, exiting the ship without her first line of defense, on a planet she didn’t know, then being instructed to convene with the death watch’s entourage all because she stupidly insisted that she was Lux’s betrothed because being his friend wouldn’t have been enough to get her out alive.

She wasn’t defenseless, her body was still a fighting machine, but she was severely outnumbered, and then he’d kissed her!

The girl tries to rationalize the situation, Lux had only done it to shut her up, keep her quiet, but her heart pangs that he could have done it any other way. Pulled her lekku, shoved a hand over her mouth, tugged her against his chest, he could have even struck her and she’d have gotten over it.

But no, he’d kissed her and ever since her lips have burned. She’d written it off as the chill before, but now as she’s back home at the temple, alone in her cabin, her lips still burn.

She feels sick, and it’s the knotted feeling in her gut that lets her know her rationalizations, no matter how reasonable the excuses seem, they are just excuses. He shouldn’t have kissed her.

Every moment she’s had with Lux plays back at her, every interaction so clear in her mind, he’d never been the kindest. In fact, he’d led her on from the start, endangered her in many ways. From herself and others.

It didn’t matter that she’d set the stage, claiming they were engaged, his lips shouldn’t have touched hers and she is not to blame.

* * *

Ahsoka is confident in her abilities, more than that, she’s sure of them. But she is still just a girl and she doesn’t feel safe. Her lips are the scene of a crime that she can't escape. 

The feelings are more present now, in the dark of the night, when the temple is most cool. The sabers on her hips do nothing to alleviate the feeling, nor does the art painting the temple bring her any comfort.

That leaves one thing- _person_ left, the one person who wasn’t there when she was kidnapped. The one person who would have stopped Lux before his lips could even get a fraction of an inch near her skin. The man who made her feel safe even when she was in the most perilous sorts of danger.

_Anakin._

The padawan tugs her blanket around her shoulders, rubbing at her lips with the back of her wrist. Almost as if the friction alone would rid her of the grime. It’s late but the temple never fully sleeps, there are master’s awake, padawans giggling in their quarters, and guards tapping their feet at their post.

Her master is certainly awake, his side of their strand alight with wakefulness, he’s not in his cabin but Ahsoka knows where he is. She doesn’t mean to intrude, not on him or Obi-Wan who he’s currently with, she knows they’ve been struggling to be civil with one another at times, and she hates to intrude on their little moments of healings, but she’s been strung too far.

She doesn’t feel safe and she can’t rectify the situation on her own. She’ll apologize and deal with the guilt of burdening them later, for keeping them up in case they were soon to retire, Ahsoka will deal with it later, not now.

The chime warbles, and there’s a round of intrigue that travels across both their bonds, followed by a barrage of concern. Obi-Wan answers the door, worn and tired, pale with soft rings under his eyes, but he smiles all the same.

“Do come in Ahsoka,” he doesn’t ask her why she’s here in the middle of the night, doesn’t scold her for interrupting their work if the many datapads and files layed around them on the tables and chairs meant anything. He lets her in with a warm hand branding her shoulder.

Anakin looks over at her from the settee, brows pinched with concern, but the crinkles around his eyes show his brow had been pinched much further together most of the night. Likely a result of the paperwork he was labored over.

His overall gaze is soft, starlight blue eyes taking the image of her wrapped in her blanket in with warmth, any other master would have demanded why she wasn’t in bed, Anakin looks like he just might, but not in a way that would make her feel bad.

He picks up on her unease and offers up an arm, inviting her to sit next to him which she does eagerly. She takes more than his arm, she curls into his side, an arm wrapped around his torso and the other around his back. Anakin to his credit rolls with her affection, doesn’t stiffen or try to gain any distance, he holds her back, tucking her head against his sternum, deliberately avoiding Obi-Wan’s gaze.

His cheek is heavy as it rests against her left montral, and it’s a small comfort that grounds her to the moment. There’s a second where nothing happens, he’s waiting for an explanation but isn’t sure if he should pry.

Instead he picks up where he left off on the data tablet in front of him. But Ahsoka feels she’s owes him an explanation, a simple one that would hopefully cover all bases, and the weight on her chest recedes the second the words breach her lips:

“‘Don’t feel safe,” the words are muffled against his tunic, but the air is sucked out of the room the moment the words hit the air. She can feel Obi-Wan’s stare, his hackles raising as if there were an imminent threat, and she expects the behavior from her master, not Obi-Wan.

There’s a nod against her stripes, and pressure from where he tether’s her to him tighter. His jaw tenses before it releases in a breath. Idly his thumb strokes her back head tail, and a wave of his soothing presence overcomes her. 

His signature settles over her in the same way the blanket does around her shoulders.

Anakin doesn’t need anymore of an explanation than that, she’d said enough. She doesn’t feel safe. Ahsoka had given him that much and that was all he needed to act. His padawan didn’t feel safe so as her master, her big brother, he knew what he had to do, what was expected of him. 

Make her feel safe.

He knew there wasn’t a threat, that what she was feeling didn’t forebode a threat that they’d find themselves dealing with. He wouldn’t begrudge her feelings, not like his had been in the past, he was concerned yes, but more than anything, he was glad she’d come to him. Glad he had been able to make himself available to her when she felt as if she needed him.

“Ahsoka would you like some tea?” The question breaks the silence, and Ahsoka barely nudges from her spot against her master’s chest to nod.

“Yes please,” she hopes the heated drink will do something to her dirtied lips, and immediately the man is moving to prepare it for her. When the drink is in her hands, he cautions as usual that it is hot, she knows this, and is careful. Although, she still drinks it sooner than she usually would have.

They don’t notice, and the burning sensation feels good, helps her feel a little less dirty. The feeling of unease doesn’t go away but it ebbs in her master’s embrace and it’s all she could ask for.

Anakin ends up carrying his sleeping padawan back to her bed, he may have or may not have taken Obi-Wan’s spare blanket too.

* * *

“Padme, what was your first kiss like?” It’s not a question the Queen of Naboo was expecting, immediately she struggles with her role, unsure if she is meant to be the girl's friend or a concerned guardian.

The girl isn’t facing her as she says it, face only angled back towards her while the girl peruses through the outfits laid out before her. The fact that the teen won’t look at her gives off the feeling she’s afraid of potential scrutiny. So Padme goes with the path of a friend, and truly she really did want to have this girl time with Ahsoka. And talking about kissing, well, Padme feels like a much younger girl again, wistful and naive.

“It was wonderful,” Padme admits, straightening a ribbon on a gown she would be expected to wear at her next meeting. A smile lights up her face and it refuses to go away as she remisses.

“The moment was perfect, he’d been so nervous but when we finally kissed. We were both so-” Padme trails off at the look on Ahsoka’s face. The togruta’s smile is one that bares barely reserved pain, remorse.

Padme softens, realizing this isn’t a conversation a Jedi should be having, so why had Ahsoka asked?

“Did you...kiss anyone Ahsoka?” 

The padawan shakes her head no, she herself hadn’t kissed anyone. He had kissed her and she hadn’t wanted to. Her first kiss had been stolen, and even though technically the Jedi would have preferred if she never had one, she was upset regardless.

“I was just wondering,” the girl half-lies, knowing she had been curious but not for the reason Padme had thought. Ahsoka also pulls back the fact she’s sure her Master was the man in question in Padme’s story. Any other day she may have taken the information and ran with it, but not today. Not with her failed first kiss so heavy on her mind.

“Were you considering having your first kiss soon?” Padme jumbles with the question, getting eager again although her heart was clenching that her pseudo daughter might get her heart broken.

“No,” Ahsoka is honest, and Padme is more and more confused by the answer. Then the padawan lies, “I was just thinking about a few things I overheard from the other padawan’s,” the little huffing laugh isn’t as convincing as Ahsoka tries to make it out to be, “You know how it is,”

Padme nods, her own handmaidens liked to gossip, but the senator was worried and no matter what Ahsoka said, the question alone had already sealed her fate.

* * *

Anakin isn’t used to Padme waiting up for him when he comes home late, so it’s a surprise to see her sitting up in bed, her face pinched in thought. She looks up at him expectantly, not even her gentle smile at his presence banishing the worry emanating from her.

“Ani? Did something happen to Ahsoka recently?” His body goes rigid immediately at the question, nothing coming to mind other than when she’d gotten lost with Lux Bonteri.

The Jedi looks to his wife, “Why?” it’s more of a growl that he doesn't mean to let out but Padme doesn’t take any offence, knowing she’d ignited his protective instinct.

“She was asking me about my first kiss, she seemed pretty upset when she asked,” and they both know what that could possibly mean, she’s a girl at war, a girl at war who’d been on her own for a significant amount of time that none of them knew anything about.

Anakin looks seconds away from storming back to the temple, the possibility that someone had put their hands on his padawan rearing its ugly head. The fact that just the other night Ahsoka had sought him out because she hadn’t felt safe-

“Anakin, tomorrow,” her hand is light on his arm, he hadn’t realized she’d even gotten out of bed, “You can talk to her tomorrow. It wouldn’t be fair to wake her now,” that is true, he acquiesces, getting into bed with his lips still pulled into a snarl. 

He doesn’t sleep a wink.

* * *

They finish training, Ahsoka managing to get in more hits than ever. Anakin's severely off his game, more so than ever as he tries to figure out how to breach the subject. Ahsoka seems to notice this, looking up at him confused as she snaps her sabers back onto her hips.

“Master, is something wrong?” Ahsoka questions, looking oddly small as she cranes her head up to look at him.

“I don’t know snips,” he answers honestly, leading her off to the side, his hand firm on her back. The togruta gives him a quizzical look in turn, sitting as he instructs on a bench near the garden. 

“Did something happen in the time you were gone, something I should know?” there’s a pregnant pause before he adds tentatively with the barest hint of authority, “Something I should know as your master, your brother?”

The girl nods, and Anakin pulls in a breath, barely breathing, “You don’t have to tell me what, not if you’re not ready but-”

“Lux kissed me,” Ahsoka admitted softly, a blank look glazing over her eyes, “I know he was just trying to shut me up but…” her voice grows to a whisper, “I didn’t want to kiss him,” the girl hugs herself, positioning her face away from him, hiding.

Anakin’s sure he’s gone on autopilot himself, it’s the only explanation as if to why he hasn’t blown up with his anger or maybe it’s just that he needs to be calm for her. And he is, even as he offers his arm, knowing she will take more if she’s ready.

Ahsoka is as she barrels into a hug, shaking in his arms, tears splatting against his tunic. His arms heavy as they pull her in close.

“I’m sorry Ahsoka,” he apologizes first, “I won’t let something like that happen again. And-” his chest huffs with anger, “If anyone ever tries-don’t hesitate to come get me, call me. I’ll deal with it,”

She knows he will, trusts he will ensure to the best of his ability she will never be in that situation again. Anakin knows his promises aren’t enough, even still, there is still turmoil tainting her force signature, and he has to be an adult. Has to offer any and all options available, because she is a child under his care, his padawan, his family. As her guardian it is up to him to make things okay.

The kiss had been a form of trauma, and he won’t let it be passed over as if it were nothing.

“And...I want you to see the mind healers if you don’t think we can work through this,” he doesn’t leave any room for argument, and although the suggestion- _command_ isn’t entirely welcoming to the girl, she understands his reasoning and begrudgingly agrees.

“Yes Skyguy,”

“Good,” the chosen one returns, petting her stripes and giving her a supportive smile as she pulls away from his chest. His mechanical arm instinctively coming up to wipe the spare tears away.

* * *

It takes some time, several trips to the mind healers as well, but her lips no longer feel as if they were smothered in dirt. It also helped that they somehow managed to run into Lux himself, and well...Anakin had made sure the teen wouldn’t be kissing anyone anytime soon.

A straw was all his lips would touch for maybe even a year. It was spectacular.

**Author's Note:**

> Snap: allisonw1122  
> Tumblr/twitter: webtrinsic1122  
> Insta:Webtrinsic


End file.
